Learnt My Lesson

I don’t really like it when people just talking behind my back. Not literally behind my back, but talking about me without saying it was they’re talking about.
I’ve made mistake, I know that, I don’t really have to hide it, at least to myself. Believe it or not, I think I’ve learned from my mistakes more than I used to. I still need people to tell me what did I do wrong, in case I didn’t realize it or if I think I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s totally okay, as long as they tell me with a little sense of respect. I need people to appreciate what I did, just respect my attempt and effort. At least I’ve tried my best. That’s why I hate it when people criticize me with no respect at all.
I put my all when I did this occasion, even my heart and soul, seem like my every little thing. All went great just fine, at least, cuz no one told me anything, and I felt I did nothing fatally wrong. Until the next day someone just talked about the mistakes they say I made. She knew that it was me because she watched the show, she talked about it in front of me and I can feel her resentment on me. At first I didn’t know that it was me she talked about, until my friend told me about the mistake I’ve made. I thank her for that but I hate the woman that talked about it behind my back.I was totally broken down at that time, I was almost crying, but luckily I can go all the way throughout that day. Not as good as the day before, far from good, because I got no soul in it. But, hey, it’s over… I learned my lesson and didn’t do it again. No same mistakes, but I was too down to do better. So… another lesson to be learned…

I Love The Way You Love Me - Eric Martin

That freaking song is constantly reminded me of someone that I loved (or love? I don’t know…) before. Someone who loved me more than I can ever imagine… I imagine doing the things that are mentioned in the song with him. It definitely will be romantic, since I believe that he is a romantic person as well… Silly??? I won’t take it that way… because, what I felt (I feel) was (is) true… Do I still love this person? Ehm… I guess so. But, I don’t think he does… So, I guess just have to wipe the dust… Do I still save my heart for him?

Simple Love

“I want love to be simple. I want to trust without thinking. I want to be generous with my affection and patience and love unconditionally. It is easier to love a person with their flaws than to weed through them. I want to love the whole person, not parts; and this is how I want to be loved. –JEWEL-“
When will love get as simple as you hope it’d be? Has love ever been that simple? Can you really trust without thinking? When will I experience that simple kind of love? For every time I trust someone without thinking, I always ended up as the hurt ones. Trust some many people and ended up getting hurt, betrayed… I had enough of that. Enough is enough…
But I still want to trust someone without thinking… I want to be generous with my affection and patience and love unconditionally, to love a person easier by loving the person with their flaws than to weed through them. I want to love the whole person, not parts… and yes, this is how I want to be loved…I know someone that I can love without thinking, someone that I can give my affection and patience generously, someone that I can love unconditionally. I love him with his flaws… I love him as a whole person, not parts… When will he love me this way?

Untitled

Climbing each stair of a lifetime seduction
is a long far walk for your love that I’ve abandoned
a very beautiful love that is too good to be true
a very wonderful love that is too easy to turn blue
What is love to be called love, anyway?
when you don’t even know what love means
As love is a remarkable abstract property
that we claim we needed to continue our lives
through eternity

What's Inside A Broken Heart

What’s inside a broken heart for sure? Regret? Sadness? Anger? Devastation? Hope??? Why do our hearts break, anyway? Lots of answers for that, but, do we ever find the right perfect answers? Find the perfect answers while there is nothing in the world that is perfect. What a life to have?! What a broken heart to mend.
Have my heart been broken? For all I can remember is broken every man’s heart who was (or is???) willing to give their whole life to me. What kind a fool I am? The unthankful person. But how can you take someone’s heart when you know you won’t give him something in return and eventually break the heart? Some might say, at least give some respect! I did, I always do give them some respect, in my kind of ways. If they wanted me to give respect their way by taking their hearts and break it later, well, I’d rather not…
Maybe I am mean, careless, ignorant, or whatever conclude that I’m a freaking crazy bitch, but… I don’t care. For that is me, and my thought, they can tell me if they don’ t like it, but never expect any changes soon or ever. I’ll change if I want to… if I think it is the best. I live my life for me… and I realize that I cannot please everybody at the same time…

I Wonder

I wonder… how hard it is to open your heart for someone new? I keep telling myself that how can you love someone when you still in love when someone else? But, is it really love that you feel for that someone else? Or is it just curiosity to make him my man, with all those sweet words of wisdom that he’s been given me? Never met him, but he’s got my heart, and a promise, though, a say, I might say that way, if he turned 30 with no one beside him, then, it’ll be me… I’m willing to wait for that, though, since for me, he’s the perfect man, with all the flaws he has, that I’m looking for… Is he?

The More I think Of It...

The more I am in doubts of what I'm doing rite now... Of what I'm feeling... Just about everything... Should I live without thinking at all, then??? But how???

How Can You Be Sure???

I never really understand about what I'm feeling inside, or am I just afraid? I want to be sure, but I don't know if I can be sure like that, like what people want me to be sure of what I am feeling inside. I always believe that there is such thing like uncertainty in life... Everything can happen... Good things come to an end...

How can you be sure??? Teach me how... I really want to be sure at something... Something that I trully believe in is that uncertainty... That everything can happen... Even in love... I want to be sure that I can love one person, but in the end... Who knows what tomorrow may bring? Nobody knows... I'm scared... I am afraid... Afraid of love's embrace... Love embraces me in a way that I always wanted, but I'm scared... Scared that this love might come to an end at the end... someday...

So, if you love me, and you read my thoughts, please... assure me... reassure me. Don't get tired of it, and don't change me, please... Cuz this is me, this is the way I am... Love me whole, not partly, please...

Damn Loneliness...

But I'm in love now... :)

A Divine Gentleman

Okay... I met this lovely fine gentleman. I don't actually know him, but I've been noticing him since I first saw him... Where? At the church... I know, you're not suppose to go to church to find guys or anything in particular other than to pray and such, but hey... i can't help it, I have eyes... Lord will understand. Haha...
Now back to this gentleman. First... he's married, since he always comes to the mass with his wife and daughter... and now, he's got another child, I think the baby is a baby boy. His children are adorable... They really do. His daughter is beautiful and course the baby is cute. Gosh... And he seems to love em very much!!!
By the way... Then I come to think why do I fall easily to the kind of gentlemen like he is? I always fall easily to men who have kids already, especially when they got really close with the children. Oh my God... =D I even thikn and imagine that I'm actually their mother or their wife... It's like... I want one of those. Haha... Yeah... I really want one of those. A divine gentleman, to spend all of my life ahead with him...

Gosh, I Miss Him...

You don't know what love is till you lose it, you don't know what you got till it slips away. Gosh!!! It's so true... I miss someone today. But all of the sudden, it brings the memory of someone, not this someone that I miss so much today, but the other one, the other someone. Someone who once loved me more than he could ever imagine, but ended up walked away... I realise that I keep blaming myself for this. Well, I maybe I am to blame, but... I don't know... I never hate him afterwards, we kept in touch for awhile, and now... none... He never return any of my calls or texts. He never careless if I want to help in again, no strings attached, just none... nothing... Makes me sad, though... Do I miss him??? Do I still love him??? Good question, hun... Just leave it unanswered!!! By the way... that TLC's song goes to him... forever!

I Miss You So Much - TLC

I never asked for this feeling, I never thought I would fall, I never knew how I felt till the day you were gone I was lost. I never asked for red roses, I wasn't looking for love, some how I let my emotions take hold. And guess what? All at once I'm in love. I miss you so much, I long for your love. It scares me 'Cuz my heart gets so weak That I can't even breathe. How can you take things so easily? Baby, why aren't you missing me? Why did I act like you mattered? It was silly of me to believe That if I just opened my heart Things would come naturally Joke's on me...yeah. I did not ask for love letters, So why did you give them to me? How could I let your intentions get over on me? So in love, So naive. I miss you so much, I long for your love. It scares me 'Cuz my heart gets so weak That I can't even breathe How can you take things so easily? Baby, why aren't you missing me? And oh How I hate what you have done, Made me fall so deep in love. God knows You're the only one I want That I love. I miss you so much, I long for your love. It scares me 'Cuz my heart gets so weak That I can't even breathe. How can you take things so easily? Baby, why aren't you missing me? Baby, why aren't you missing me? Baby, why aren't you Miss... Missing me?

Sorry if I miss you...

I didn't mean too

It's just a feeling that strikes me out of the blue

Hope it won't bother you...

Love Doesn't Have To Hurt

Love doesn't have to hurt to feel good... Yeah rite. Sometimes... Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. It does when you're trully in the mood of lovely fun kind of loving. But love hurts when... it hurts... :( Love hurts when you cannot keep or have the one you love on your side... When someone said that if you love someone you don't have to have him on your side, don't you think it's hurt to know???
Sometimes I even ask myself if I really love somebody... Funny. I guess, i'm too scared to fall in love... Afraid to open my heart for someone... Afraid to take chances that it will really hurt...

Who Can You Trust?

I thought I can trust this friend of mine. Well, it's not really the first time that I've been stabbed from the back by someone whom I thought is my best friend. Gosh.. .How stupid am I to let this to happen again after awhile? Shame on me now... :( But, am I wrong to put my trust on him? We shared a lot and he just walk away like that??? Well, I tried to understand him, and conclude that he's a big ass opportunist... I'm no longer important in his life ince he found a new bunch of friends... gosh... Childish... But it happens.
But then again, I always said to myself that I won't dump him as my friend. You have to be able to accept your friend for the way they are, anyway... :(

The Right Man - Christina Aguilera

So many years have gone by Always strong, tried not to cry Never felt like I needed any man To comfort me in life But I'm all made up today A veil upon my face But no father stands beside me To give this bride away Well, I'm standing in the chapel Wearing my white dress I have waited for this moment With tears of happiness Here I leave behind my past By taking the chance I've finally found the right man Thoughts racing fast through my mind As I'm gazing down the aisle That my future will mend the memories Torn between father and child My emotions overload 'Cause there is no hand to hold There's no shoulder here to lean on I'm walking all on my own Here I go.. Now I'm standing at four corners "To have and to hold", Now my love, you stand beside me To walk life's winding road And I owe it all to you For taking that chance You've shown me there's a right man 'Cause I never knew a right man Well I'm standing in the chapel Ready to confess That I've waited for this moment With tears of happiness Now I leave behind my past By taking the chance Oh, whoa Well I'm standing at four corners "To have and to hold", Now my love, you stand beside me To walk life's winding road And I owe it all to you For taking the chance And one day, my little girl Will reach out her hand She'll know I found the right man..

Save Me From Myself - Christina Aguilera

It's not so easy loving me It gets so complicated All the things you gotta be Everything's changing But you're the truth I'm amazed by all your patience Everything I put you through When I'm about to fall Somehow you're always waiting with Your open arms to catch me You're gonna save me from myself From myself, yes You're gonna save me from myself Ooh, whoa yes, mm My love is tainted by your touch Well, some guys have shown me aces But you've got that royal flush I know it's crazy everyday Well, tomorrow may be shaky But you never turn away Don't ask me why I'm crying 'Cause when I start to crumble You know how to keep me smiling You always save me from myself From myself, myself You're gonna save me from myself I know it's hard, it's hard But you've broken all my walls You've been my strength, so strong And don't ask me why I love you It's obvious your tenderness Is what I need to make me A better woman to myself To myself, myself You're gonna save me from my.. Myself

The Goal of the Unknown

Flock of birds

cover the dirt

There ain’t no nerd

of the unheard

Where have you been?

Hey, you’re just a teen

Made licking things

of the unseen

The flower grows

a step and more

to reach the goal

of the unknown

My Reflection

My REFLECTION has AWAKE AND BREATHE

and is now IRRESISTIBLE

WISHING….

WAITING FOR THE DAY

for A GIRL LIKE ME to PLAYING MY GAME

But AM I THE KINDA GIRL?

A PASSENGER who will follow the RAINBOW

and fly like a BUTTERFLY in the SUNSHINE

HERE ON EARTH, in A WALK TO REMEMBER

I’ll take the WALK OF LIFE from COAST TO COAST

all with SPIRITS in it and it’s FOREVER

I’m going to get the FIRST IN LINE

to PAINT THE SKY WITH STARS

and TELLING EVERYBODY

who TALK ON CORNERS and CROSSROAD

that THE SOUND OF MUSIC

and all that GLITTER

will come as ONE in everyone’s DAYDREAM

LET’S GO BANG!

JUST BE FREE!

SPICE UP YOUR LIFE!

RIGHT NOW!

Don’t get LEFT IN THE MIDDLE

DREAM A DREAM about A DIFFERENT BEAT

And you’ll get THE NEXT BEST THING
THIS WAY,
in the WORLD OF OUR OWN

Whistling Bird

Watching the flocks go by

One bird just left out in a branch of a tree

in front of my house

Careless people just walk on by

Without even take a li’l glimpse to what’s around

So that li’l bird just stands alone

Singing to a song that’s never been heard before

Fearless, confidence
are the things it’s and the song’s all about