I'd Give It All To Change The Way The World Goes Round... NO!!!

Sometimes I’m thinking about the best way to get over you, the best way to move on. Often what comes across my mind is simply to erase you from all the things I do in life. But, apparently that way is never that easy. It’s definitely harder than I thought it would. Why? Well, because you seem to be there, everywhere I go. You stuck on my mind, no matter what you do, even when I feel you try to ignore me. And it hurts to just even think to erase you from my life…

Am I thinking to give it all to change the way the world goes round? Yes, I’ve been thinking of that. But, no, I don’t want to… I need to move on… and I am now, but it’s baby steps that I’m taking right now…

Another Wish Came True pt. 2

Dear Lord,
Thank you so much for making another wish of mine came true. He found someone else and hopefully she’s better than me. I hope she can take a good care of a man who has an undeniably wonderful heart. A man that I care about... A man that I miss…

I missed the chance to say what I really feel just because I was too scared of what might happen. I missed the chance to cherish one of the most sincere gifts of life just because I was too afraid of what’s waiting ahead.

Here I am now, standing still on the place where I let him go to fly and explore the world in order to find his greatest treasure of life. Here I am looking from afar, trying not to let those regret slipping through my mind.

I should be happy because I got my wish, for him to go and be happy. I don’t want to turn childish by saying it should be me…

I never said I love him but I did say goodbye. Then came the days where I missed him but I never told, but what I could see is him walking by…

Thank you for letting him into my life, although it was only for a short while… J

Let Me

Dear you,
Everytime I look at you
There’s this sweetest feeling
Rushing up to my brain
And straightly make me cannot stop smiling

Everytime I see your smile
There’s this childish excitement
Rushing up to my heart
And pushing me to not stop smiling

Please,
Let me adore you
Let me smile just by looking at you
Let me praise you
Let me cheer myself up by embracing your smile
Let me idolize you
Let me make myself better by staring at those beautiful eyes of yours

Let me be the most blessed woman
By having your most amazing love

Let me…

You Know

Although here I am and there you are
Miles apart
From one bridge to another
That got burned into overtime
Unfixable
Unreachable

I’ve put all my effort
Only to be cut down the line
The fast lane and the winding ones
While you are standing there
And sometimes don’t really seem to care

I’ve told myself many times and again
It should be over
By the time I wake up
It should be over
By the time I raise my glass and do bottom up

I believe you know
Deep down you know
Reach out and you’ll know…
In the end you’ll know

I Hate This Feeling

Why should you take the best of me all away?
Leaving me nothing but grief over losing you
Although losing is not exactly what it is
Since I never had you
You’ve gone before I lost you
And yet, you’re still here
Along the way
Along my footsteps of life…

I hate this feeling
When I have to do something that I know it’s wrong
When I hope for something that I know it’s impossible
When I do something that I know it hurts
When I deny something that I know it’s right

I Know You Too Well To Be With You, I Know You Too Well To Let You Go...

I know the things that you like
I know the things that make you afraid like a little child

I know when you give up
I know when you fired up

I know what makes you happy
I know what lets you down the most

I know when you fall in love and I know how you love
I know who you love
I know you could easily say love to someone
I know you say it while you’re still in love with someone else

I know you’re afraid of being lonely, doesn’t anybody?
I know we’re miles apart
I know too many differences drift us apart
I know that I’m your best friend anyway
I know that we can’t go anywhere

I know that I’ll be here when you call
I know that I’ll be here when you need a shoulder to cry on
I know that I’ll be here when you fall
I know that I’ll be here when you need strength to lean on

I know you better than you know yourself
I know you by heart, by mind, by soul you can confess
I know you too well to be with you,
I know you too well to let you go

PS. I know that you don't know that this is dedicated to you
I know that you didn't know because I didn't say

It's Invisible

I keep on asking why on earth it has to be this way?

I was that close to get to you, but something was standing between us. Something invisible, that is. But we both see it.

I choose to ignore, and you choose to take care of it.

I don’t know why you chose that option, and I wonder how you will take care of it.

How could you take care something invisible? Just for the sake of time? Just for the sake of a memory?

It’s like playing with your imaginary friend, and me playing with David Cook. We just play with them in our minds. We can’t take care of them. They’re invisible. Even David Cook, the closest I can get to him is just by being his fan. I can’t take care of him the way I want to.

That’s all, that’s it, that’s all it is, that’s the way it is.

Nothing more.

You can’t take care something invisible.

It won’t talk to you.

It won’t be there for you.

It won’t take care of you.

It won’t be me…

I Want To Know What Love Is

“Love breaks your heart

Love takes no less than everything

Love makes it hard

And it fades away so easily”

Interesting line, isn't it? But, what is love and what is hate, for real? So many definitions floating around out there, scientifically or not. Here are some of them:

- Love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person

- Love is not a single feeling but an emotion built from two or more feelings.

***

Whoops! That’s interesting on the love definition. It says that love is not a single feeling but an emotion built from two or more feelings. Is it saying that love has to consists of two feelings at least? What feelings would that be? Which feelings should be combined together? Anger? Lust? Loneliness? Happiness? Hatred? Care? What?

I believe that everybody has their own definition about this feeling called love. From the one that make sense or something that doesn’t make sense at all.

What about mine? What about my own definition? I have some and I still hold on to this definition of mine. I don’t know if this makes sense or not, but, it’s just my own and I feel good about it.

“Love is unconditionally blind”

Why is it so? Face it, all this time, when people love someone, it’s hard for them to think clearly. They don’t really care about their differences, since they think they can handle any difference that may occur alongside their relationships. Differences are one factor that makes love beautiful. Differences are the art of loving. This kind of difference is only beautiful in terms of love. In other terms? Hell no! You don’t like having something, let’s say food, different from the one that you’ve ordered. You won’t stay long with a friend that has too many different interests with yours. But, you would be fine if somehow the one that you blindly love has too many differences. You’ve been hurt too many times by those differences, but you would say you’d be okay, because you love that person. How come people like to be hurt all the time? It’s simply because this thing called love. They cannot see that they’ve been hurt badly. They enjoy it… because it’s love that caused the mess. Love wins! Love can hurt all they want.

But, I also believe that

“Love doesn’t hurt”

Love doesn’t have to hurt to feel good, to be beautiful, to be enjoyable. Love meant to be something that can make us happy. Then why should you cry? Why should you cry because of love? Shouldn’t your love protect you from every kind of sadness? Shouldn’t love kiss all your tears away? Shouldn’t love protect your heart from being broken?

Well, if you unconditionally blinded by the love you have, don’t complain, you shouldn’t complain since you are blinded by it, you shouldn’t see anything goes wrong. Just enjoy all the fun and the hurt that you have alongside your relationship. But, remember that love doesn’t have to hurt. You don’t have to be a fool to play this love game and got hurt here and there without you knowing since you are blinded by it. You don’t have to worry; you have people around you who love you for just the way you are. They will sincerely guide you through that dark road of yours. Just take time to stop, look and listen and ask again to your heart. Do you really want to be hurt by loving someone… someone that doesn’t really care about you they prefer to hurt you in any way they can, in any way that you cannot see them hurting you,,, again, because you are blinded by love.

Love… love… love… I’ve been hurt, I’ve been ignored, I’ve been careless, and I’ve been invisible. But, I will move on, with this love that I got inside my heart and from all the people whom love me just the way I am. I will still give my love unconditionally because I know that love doesn’t really have to hurt anyone and I know it certainly make happy... I will make sure I’m there when love comes around and hope I’m not surprised when true love knock at my door.

Happy valentine everyone!

PS. I know you don’t know, or just don’t want to know or find out, that I love you, but I do. I will give this love I have to you unconditionally, for all my life; I will always be there for you, anytime. Here I am, blinded by my love to you. It doesn’t hurt; it doesn’t have to, because I’m the one who choose to be in this situation.

Those Words

Those words make me shiver
as you come closer and whisper
Those words make me smile
in my lonely days that had been awhile
Those words make me want to hold you close
closer than you ever been before
Those words make me miss you
in an unbelievable way too
Those words...
are beautiful...
Those words...
will stay in my heart, forever...

Dear Life Pt. 2

Dear life,
it's exhausting living this kind of life
where there are too many stupid people
acting like they're freaking smart
Too many heartless people
acting like the care of others

Here I am, trying to be one of those people
not to be accepted,
not to be fit in,
but to survive

I am trying to be the meanest person
I never am...
but I need to be one.

If Tomorrow Never Comes

If tomorrow never comes,
please know that I have loved you everyday,
unconditionally with all my heart...

If tomorrow never comes,
please know that I have saved a special place in my pure heart
for the one and only you...

If tomorrow never comes,
please know that I will always be there by your side...

Worthwhile Teardrop

I’m happy
For the way we are
Although you can make me happier
Then why should I cry now?
Will a teardrop be worthwhile?

I settle for less now
I’ve dried my tears anyway
There’s nothing I can say or do
To change your blinded mind
It’s in your hand to decide

I’m letting go of what’s empty all along
I’m cleaning up the mess
I’m mending my broken heart
I’m moving on
At least, I’m trying to…

Starsun Flower

The clouds all gather around

Swinging with all their glory

Round and round

Dancing one and another

The wind then come

Blow its soothing yet surprising breeze

Rhythmically dance around the clouds

Gather them closer, abound

Come together, my cloudy cloud friends

Come closer

Let’s protect the sun who’s making love with the star

They shall not be seen

At least not by that blooming flower that stands alone in the meadow

It’ll wonder why…

Why this way after all this time

So let’s keep on dancing

Come together and come closer

Let’s cover up

Remember when the morning comes

The sun rises and the flower blooms

Blossom, alone in the meadow

And the whole day

The flower sparks its colorful smile

Until it’s time for the sun to go

Break the dusk and wait for another dawn to come

It gets closer but yet harder to grasp

As time goes by

As it comes to another day of life

So let’s keep on dancing

Come together and come closer

Let’s cover up

If tomorrow never comes

Hope that the sun knows and realizes

It has been loved

By the blooming flower that stands alone in the meadow

Worlds Apart - The Veronicas

I'm gonna hold you for the last time
I'm gonna cry but afraid not to let it show
This is the hardest way to say goodbye
'Cause as you walk away I'm feeling so alone
I don't understand
You had to leave and I'm not part of your plan
We both agreed but now I regret
There are so many things I should have said

But now I've let you go
I'm holding back the tears
I'm here alone
Forgetting all the years
And now there's nothing I can do to bring you back to me
Oh
So we live our different lives
It's so hard and there's no
more you
and I
but we're worlds apart

Sometimes it's hard to get to sleep at night
Sometimes I think about the way it could've been
I see you everytime I close my eyes
I try to shut you out
Instead I let you in
I can't pretend
I wanted it to end
For you and me

But now I've let you go
I'm holding back the tears
I'm here alone
Forgetting all the years
And now there's nothing I can do to bring you back to me
Oh
So we live our different lives
It's so hard and there's no
more you
and I
And I'm missing you tonight
But we're worlds apart

What I'd give for one more day
Just to say the things I need to say
If only
Time was not erased

As you walked away
I knew I couldn't explain to you
And I can't pretend
I wanted this to end
For you and me

Happiness in Love

Today, there were 3 friends of mine talking about their love problems, and one of them, wrote this, "I just keep asking why it is so hard 4 me to find happiness in love."
Define love and define happiness. Many people will come up with many definition, all with their own thoughts, addition and repetition, nothing's right, nothing's wrong, everybody has their own justification.
What's mine and what's yours?
To be honest, can't really define those two words and make any connection out of them. Do they really connected?
I always claim that I'm the kind of girl who easily love someone, and I love doing it. Based on what I've seen from myself and my point of view, love will be defined as something unconditional. For me, there's so many ways to love someone unconditionally, such as befriend, and be there in time of needs, just listen. Well, something more always appreciated :)
It is hard when you want something more but, apparently, seems so out of reach for so many reasons, even for the worst and most stupid reason. But, think that you could love them in another way may make you feel a bit better. There's always a way to love someone, isn't there?
By the way, can you really tell when do you really really in love with someone? I mean, why is there so many couple divorce when at first they claim to fall in love to each other. Shouldn't love last? Nothing is so good that last eternally, but in love, I assumed it should be 'till death do us part' thingy. Death is not divorce paper!
Okay, let's move on to happiness. Ehm, shortly, I am a happy person, as in happy happy or happy go lucky, both quite the same for me, just the same when I put on a smile or a fake smile, no matter what, it's still a smile. Have I found my happiness? I can't answer that really. I have so many wishes came true up till now. Got my friends, my life, my dreams, sunshine, so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy. But do they?
Respond to this statement, "Feel good is something we earn or something we have to fight for?" It might appear as an easy question for you, but I find it hard to answer this one. Very very hard... Can't even conclude now, so, I'll leave it floating in the air, the water or whatever...
PS. I'm trying to move on, and still trying. Sometimes I think I have, but, keep coming back and stranded, again and again, but I don't want you to say goodbye as well. I won't say I love you just yet, but I surely care about you, and that won't change that easy. So, all I ask from you is to let me love you in my own way, let me care for you, let me carry you, because I'd love to... :)

ALL IN A YEAR – 40 LITTLE THANK YOU NOTES

Many things have happened this 2008, the goods, the bads, and the standing stills. All have passed. Some stays in my heart, some just goes away. But all in between, I have no regrets to those things. I won’t say I learn many things this year, but I had learned some of the hardest lessons in my life. I had the ups and downs just like everybody else. I failed and I succeeded just like everybody else.

So, welcoming this year, I would like to send a little thank you notes to those who have been fulfilling my life, on 2008 and or for more years to come.

· Lord, thank you for all your blessing throughout the days and more to come. I believe that you will give me nothing but the best.

• Papa, Mama and Dede

This might be a short one compare tp what you have given me, but, please know that I thank God everyday for all of you. You’ve been there for me all the way, with the obvious or hidden endless support understanding that often makes me confused. Your love keeps me believe in myself at the end of the road, and I truly love you for that.

· Meet my angels: Bening, Raisha, Denzel, Keeya, Zahra, Timmy, Arya, Nindya, Raffa, Jeremy, Rainier, Bayu, Rasyad, Kenneth, Aini, Muria, Noni, Shelvya, Axl, Kaylee, Jolly, Livi, Kei, Angga, Claire, Dhafin, Felicia, Glenn, Rere, Tabe, Fano, Michelle, Chacha, Devon, Bryce, Erica, Stuart, Zeta, Vrinda, Kaka, Darren, Michael, Derrick, Bima, Nabil, Fabian, Annika, little Zahra, Tasya, Gio, Kingking, Jeje, Eldy, Tacia, Lala, Raymond, Axel, Leon, and the rest but not least. I couldn’t thank my angels enough for what they have given me. Calm me down just with their simple sincere smile. I got some unpredictable worthy lessons from them.

· Bapak Didit, Ibu Diba, Bunda Yane, Mama Henny, Mama Tina and Mama Nita plus Facebook parents, Ibu Fanny, Ibu Diah, Ibu Daning, … Bet you guys didn’t know that you have spiced me up a little. Thank you so much, and sorry for the hippy or too happy things that just uncontrollably came out. Sorry to say, but you’re going to see more in the upcoming days. Peace! J

· Ibu Yuli thank you for my so called surprise birthday cake.

· All babysitters, thank you for your smiles that made me smile back. Be happy!

· Monica’s Club, Agnes, Sendy, Geby, Eva, Mei Na. You won’t believe how much I love you. Thank you so much for standing by me through work days and even more. Thank you for listening all through my b****ing, anguish, laughter and cry. I couldn’t ask for better friends at work or outside or whatever. Hope we’ll stay this way not just at Dr. Sukimin, but also Dr. Curie… JOKING! I mean, NAV, Happy Puppy, Lemonade, Venetia (WHAT???) Pren Poreper lah! Xoxo GOSSIP GIRL.

· Dine!!! Thank you for ‘the look’, ‘the words’, the advices that surprised me all the way. Thank you for opening my mind. Still couldn’t believe that those came from you. I’m going to need more advise in our days to come.

· Meiko, you’ve given me more than you think. You made me glad that I learned something the hard way. I won’t say that I’m going to get rid of my childish behavior inside of me, but, I’m going to control it better… I’m going to miss you at last.

· Ms Ida and Ms Tias, thank you for lending your ear towards me, this little girl who is still trying to find some light in her mind.

· Hasti, Nuri and Mirah. Thank you for listening to my overwhelmed feelings and getting me to fight back for what I deserve. Thank you for standing where you are.

· Jenny, Winny, Dionne, you have a long wide road ahead of you. Keep on fighting. Thank you for not being so difficult new kids on the block and for cheering me up throughout those days.

· Bu Vera, Pak Evan, Ms Lisa, thank you for the support and the chance to learn a lot of things.

· Bu Fangfang, thanks for sharing the American Idol. Cook won because of us.

· Ditaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, I won’t say I miss you, but thank you for missing me. GOTCHA!

· Nancy, thank you for letting me to make fun of you. Miss you lots, girl.

· Jane!!! Can’t believe I miss you. Thank you for filling my days with awesome laughter and unnecessary jokes. You were the best, and now I am.

· Irma and Dewi, thanks for helping. Wish you all the best.

· Securities, thank you for your continuous protection.

· Aris, thank you for all the things that you share with me. The movie and songs files, the life and love stories, the car, the shows, the b****ing, the cursing and every little thing. I’m glad to have you around those days of my life and hopefully more to come.

· Nia, you might not be with me all the time, but you have given me the quality time every time we met. Love ya, love ya, love ya, sis!

· Monyet, Inneke, Honey David, Harry, Fofo, Satriya, Cisco, thank you for the quality time that we have spent throughout the year. We should hang out more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more, and more. Love you sooo much. I’ll be here anytime you need me.

· Robin and Jeff. Boys will be boys, guys. Thank you for listening to my boy and non-sense problems. Emrey, miss you! Facebook, please, lol. Sarah, thank you for letting me sharing the music and work, work, work, boring life. Love you all, people!

· Robert, thank you for making me smile throughout those days and I wish you a great life ahead. Miss you!

· Heidi, Helen, Sisca, Tiya, Gigin, my politician friends that will never be colleague, may prosperity of this country and the world be with us in every way. Peace towards anything that anywhere that anyplace. Understand? No? Me too! (Terima teman apa adanya menjadi slogan yang abadi)

· Dian, Jejes, Cilla, Nia, and fellow Alto, thank you for letting me sing with you while bothering here and there. Carry on, girls.

· Anggie, Nina, thank you for sharing and you know where to find me if you need another time.

· Ega, Theo, Ucil, thank you for that short laugh and idea to make that “Di Dalam Dunia Gue” edition, release date planning will be April 2009. Beware!

· PABAI (Persatuan Atlet Badminton Alto Indonesia), Hilda, Dian, Donna, Erlie, plus Bayu, thank you for keeping your smile available. Keep in touch, ladies!

· Kuki, David, plus Winna, you bee eye see tea itches, thank you for giving that unbelievable gossip name, autocorrect, and thank you for giving me great laugh and a wide comfortable crazy zone when we met.

· Lutfi (a.k.a Brian Quagmire, I made that up, but look, they fit :p), thank you for sharing your interests, especially that Family Guy thingy and Atomic Kitten videos. Say no to piracy! Thank you for sharing your pre-release books, can’t wait for Book 3 and so forth. Good luck for those books. Thank you for your all kind of support throughout those days and hopefully more to come J

· Flo and Paul, thank you for your ongoing different kind of support. I should’ve hate you but turned out to miss you all. My days would be totally blue if I never knew you.

· Pak Tommy, thank you for watching and keeping me in your mind.

· Shendy Spears, Tia, Yocie, Ndha, Ono, Pade, Milke, Amel, My TLC (Santi and KS), Asty thank you for keeping our friendship up till now. Same casts, different scripts. Love you just the same and more.

· Iko… thank you for your unimportantness. Can’t say anything here, the rumors will spread!

· Wanda, thank you for the opportunity. Can’t wait to see you again.

· Nita, thank you for Vella, Vita and Tessa, thank you for expecting, Dyna, thank you for waiting. Love you, girls!

· Riswan, Mirna, Tonny, Mba An, and others in Reading Light, thank you for the OK supply and for welcoming me there.

· Rio, thank you for cheering me up, you cutie pie! Love you to bits, baby.

· The rest but by no means least, family and friends that cannot be mentioned one by one, from Jakarta to Bandung, from Asia to Europe, from UCVers to PSMers, from HIers to FISIPers to UNPARes to UIers, you know who you are, the people whom I met throughout the days of 2008, from drivers to cooks, passerby, from bad to good singers who sang all kinds of songs, awesome and suck actors, from HSM to Twilight, from Family Guy to Southpark, you and you and you and you and you, just everyone, I LOVE YOU!

Faith, Hope, Love

Faith makes all things possible

Hope makes all things work

Love makes all things beautiful.

Clums' BrainList 2008

Here comes my 2008 BRAINLIST, the songs that plays by itself in my brain automatically according to my mood:

1. Lily Allen – GWB (F*** You Very Much)
2. Dolly Parton – 9 To 5
3. Natasha Hamilton – Ms Emotional
4. Dolly Parton – Here You Come Again
5. Jo O’Meara – Relentless
6. Amy Pearson – Ready To Fly
7. Natasha Bedingfield – Cheer Me Up
8. Jo O’Meara – You Didn’t Know
9. Amy Pearson – Lost Without Your Love
10. Taylor Swift – Love Story
11. Kelly Clarkson – Haunted
12. Christina Aguilera – Keeps Getting Better
13. Jo O’Meara – What Hurts The Most
14. Natasha Bedingfield - Happy
15. Steps – I Know Him So Well
16. Natasha Hamilton – Gipsy
17. Kelly Clarkson – Thankful
18. Britney Spears – If You Seek Amy
19. Jordin Sparks – God Loves Ugly
20. Christina Aguilera – Mercy On Me

There’s a First for Everyone in Everything

I don’t exactly know why, but I’m in the mood for listing my firsts that I can remember so far. It’s more than I thought before… I mean more embarrassing to remember. Okay, here it goes:
1. My first crush will be Jonathan Knight from New Kids On The Block (NKOTB), I think it was when I was in Kindergarten or so. Too soon? You bet!
2. My first Kindergarten crush… OMG, NONE!!! Why do me students have crush on eachother? Kids nowadays. My first real life crush would be my senior, Baskaries Ebrata, I wonder how’s he right now 
3. My first English lesson, you might be right, it was NKOTB’s song lyrics, my cousin and my teenage neighbor (Ka Feni, where are you?) responsible for this ‘mess’ that later be my treasure. Love you guys. By the way, my cousin laughed like crazy when I show her the ‘new’ NKOTB. I still remember when Ka Feni asked me to translate their song, called, Tonight, since I didn’t know how to write yet, all I did was listening to the song, and from my hearing, they were saying “two night night”, so I translated them into “dua malam-malam.” It was a beautiful mistake up till now… 
4. This one should make you no longer wonder why I remain NKOTB fan right now, when they seem to be too old to be called boyband, they should call them grampsband or papaband or something, my first CD, alond with videos (LaserDisc actually) were NKOTB H.I.T.S. and Concert. The CD stays, the LaserDisc’s GONE!!!
5. My first school performance was when I was in Kindergarten. Along with Anita Layerna (Tata), Meicyana (Memei), Lia, we danced through Mary’s Boy Child on Christmas performance with our red suit and tutu… We were too lovely too handle… :p
6. My first public solo performance was at FrontRow, Senayan, my friend’s, Milke, birthday. I was singing Christina Aguilera’s I Turn To You, live band, plus, a flower from Andrew, sweet! PS. It was not a private party, so there were other audience.
7. First romance and break-up was in Bali (all details will remain private). That’s why I really need to go back there to complete this unfinished healing of the pain that remain still in my heart.
8. First choir competition was when I was in Kindergarten, singing in the orange uniform of ours.
9. First role-play writing and directing, bet you don’t believe it, but I did, amateur, for school play. That was for my 6th grade graduation party. I’m proud with it, it was a comedy and they laughed through it, at least they seemed to enjoy it, as long as I can recall. My friends were the glowing actors.
10. First standing-by-celeb picture would be Bondan Prakoso with his single Si Lumba-Lumba. It was at Panggung Maksima, Dufan. I used to think that he was cute.
11. First fall from the bike, when I was riding my 4 wheeled bike. It was already 4 wheeled, but why did I fall after all? Maybe that’s why my mom always say that I cannot ride any bike, including motorbike.
12. First concert, Westlife at BEngkel. My friend, Dora faked her sickness to be put in first. Kian was awesomely gorgeous, people and I was so awesomely thirsty, I didn’t care about the boys but awesomely care about the water that they were drinking. By the way, my first showcase was Caught In The Act. HA!
13. First unconditional love… would be you.

Another Wish Came True

Been wishing for clues for days now, and finally got it. At least that’s what I think. I was wishing for God to give me clues whether this man will be the one for me. After sign by sign, it’s getting more obvious that he might not be the one for me… Sad? Definitely, but, maybe, yet again, this is the best way, not just for me but for the both of us.

One thing, though, it seems very hard for me to just go away and pass this fact by. Why? Oddly, I might be in love already. How? I don’t know. I’m the kind of girl who’s easily fall in love with someone. He’s been so nice, even up till now.

Looking back, all those nice things and attention that he’s been given me seemed meant more to me. Well, I take the blame for this and maybe that’s why it’s hard for me to accept the fact that he’s in love with someone else.

But, don’t worry. I’m getting there. I’m turning my positive thinking mode on. Besides, my wish has come true, even I get better result, we still communicate, nicely, and again, I couldn’t wish for more. At least, up till now…

I talked this through with my friends, and they surely gave strength to go on… J

I’m okay now.