A Divine Gentleman

Okay... I met this lovely fine gentleman. I don't actually know him, but I've been noticing him since I first saw him... Where? At the church... I know, you're not suppose to go to church to find guys or anything in particular other than to pray and such, but hey... i can't help it, I have eyes... Lord will understand. Haha...
Now back to this gentleman. First... he's married, since he always comes to the mass with his wife and daughter... and now, he's got another child, I think the baby is a baby boy. His children are adorable... They really do. His daughter is beautiful and course the baby is cute. Gosh... And he seems to love em very much!!!
By the way... Then I come to think why do I fall easily to the kind of gentlemen like he is? I always fall easily to men who have kids already, especially when they got really close with the children. Oh my God... =D I even thikn and imagine that I'm actually their mother or their wife... It's like... I want one of those. Haha... Yeah... I really want one of those. A divine gentleman, to spend all of my life ahead with him...

Gosh, I Miss Him...

You don't know what love is till you lose it, you don't know what you got till it slips away. Gosh!!! It's so true... I miss someone today. But all of the sudden, it brings the memory of someone, not this someone that I miss so much today, but the other one, the other someone. Someone who once loved me more than he could ever imagine, but ended up walked away... I realise that I keep blaming myself for this. Well, I maybe I am to blame, but... I don't know... I never hate him afterwards, we kept in touch for awhile, and now... none... He never return any of my calls or texts. He never careless if I want to help in again, no strings attached, just none... nothing... Makes me sad, though... Do I miss him??? Do I still love him??? Good question, hun... Just leave it unanswered!!! By the way... that TLC's song goes to him... forever!

I Miss You So Much - TLC

I never asked for this feeling, I never thought I would fall, I never knew how I felt till the day you were gone I was lost. I never asked for red roses, I wasn't looking for love, some how I let my emotions take hold. And guess what? All at once I'm in love. I miss you so much, I long for your love. It scares me 'Cuz my heart gets so weak That I can't even breathe. How can you take things so easily? Baby, why aren't you missing me? Why did I act like you mattered? It was silly of me to believe That if I just opened my heart Things would come naturally Joke's on me...yeah. I did not ask for love letters, So why did you give them to me? How could I let your intentions get over on me? So in love, So naive. I miss you so much, I long for your love. It scares me 'Cuz my heart gets so weak That I can't even breathe How can you take things so easily? Baby, why aren't you missing me? And oh How I hate what you have done, Made me fall so deep in love. God knows You're the only one I want That I love. I miss you so much, I long for your love. It scares me 'Cuz my heart gets so weak That I can't even breathe. How can you take things so easily? Baby, why aren't you missing me? Baby, why aren't you missing me? Baby, why aren't you Miss... Missing me?

Sorry if I miss you...

I didn't mean too

It's just a feeling that strikes me out of the blue

Hope it won't bother you...

Love Doesn't Have To Hurt

Love doesn't have to hurt to feel good... Yeah rite. Sometimes... Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. It does when you're trully in the mood of lovely fun kind of loving. But love hurts when... it hurts... :( Love hurts when you cannot keep or have the one you love on your side... When someone said that if you love someone you don't have to have him on your side, don't you think it's hurt to know???
Sometimes I even ask myself if I really love somebody... Funny. I guess, i'm too scared to fall in love... Afraid to open my heart for someone... Afraid to take chances that it will really hurt...

Who Can You Trust?

I thought I can trust this friend of mine. Well, it's not really the first time that I've been stabbed from the back by someone whom I thought is my best friend. Gosh.. .How stupid am I to let this to happen again after awhile? Shame on me now... :( But, am I wrong to put my trust on him? We shared a lot and he just walk away like that??? Well, I tried to understand him, and conclude that he's a big ass opportunist... I'm no longer important in his life ince he found a new bunch of friends... gosh... Childish... But it happens.
But then again, I always said to myself that I won't dump him as my friend. You have to be able to accept your friend for the way they are, anyway... :(

The Right Man - Christina Aguilera

So many years have gone by Always strong, tried not to cry Never felt like I needed any man To comfort me in life But I'm all made up today A veil upon my face But no father stands beside me To give this bride away Well, I'm standing in the chapel Wearing my white dress I have waited for this moment With tears of happiness Here I leave behind my past By taking the chance I've finally found the right man Thoughts racing fast through my mind As I'm gazing down the aisle That my future will mend the memories Torn between father and child My emotions overload 'Cause there is no hand to hold There's no shoulder here to lean on I'm walking all on my own Here I go.. Now I'm standing at four corners "To have and to hold", Now my love, you stand beside me To walk life's winding road And I owe it all to you For taking that chance You've shown me there's a right man 'Cause I never knew a right man Well I'm standing in the chapel Ready to confess That I've waited for this moment With tears of happiness Now I leave behind my past By taking the chance Oh, whoa Well I'm standing at four corners "To have and to hold", Now my love, you stand beside me To walk life's winding road And I owe it all to you For taking the chance And one day, my little girl Will reach out her hand She'll know I found the right man..

Save Me From Myself - Christina Aguilera

It's not so easy loving me It gets so complicated All the things you gotta be Everything's changing But you're the truth I'm amazed by all your patience Everything I put you through When I'm about to fall Somehow you're always waiting with Your open arms to catch me You're gonna save me from myself From myself, yes You're gonna save me from myself Ooh, whoa yes, mm My love is tainted by your touch Well, some guys have shown me aces But you've got that royal flush I know it's crazy everyday Well, tomorrow may be shaky But you never turn away Don't ask me why I'm crying 'Cause when I start to crumble You know how to keep me smiling You always save me from myself From myself, myself You're gonna save me from myself I know it's hard, it's hard But you've broken all my walls You've been my strength, so strong And don't ask me why I love you It's obvious your tenderness Is what I need to make me A better woman to myself To myself, myself You're gonna save me from my.. Myself

The Goal of the Unknown

Flock of birds

cover the dirt

There ain’t no nerd

of the unheard

Where have you been?

Hey, you’re just a teen

Made licking things

of the unseen

The flower grows

a step and more

to reach the goal

of the unknown

My Reflection

My REFLECTION has AWAKE AND BREATHE

and is now IRRESISTIBLE

WISHING….

WAITING FOR THE DAY

for A GIRL LIKE ME to PLAYING MY GAME

But AM I THE KINDA GIRL?

A PASSENGER who will follow the RAINBOW

and fly like a BUTTERFLY in the SUNSHINE

HERE ON EARTH, in A WALK TO REMEMBER

I’ll take the WALK OF LIFE from COAST TO COAST

all with SPIRITS in it and it’s FOREVER

I’m going to get the FIRST IN LINE

to PAINT THE SKY WITH STARS

and TELLING EVERYBODY

who TALK ON CORNERS and CROSSROAD

that THE SOUND OF MUSIC

and all that GLITTER

will come as ONE in everyone’s DAYDREAM

LET’S GO BANG!

JUST BE FREE!

SPICE UP YOUR LIFE!

RIGHT NOW!

Don’t get LEFT IN THE MIDDLE

DREAM A DREAM about A DIFFERENT BEAT

And you’ll get THE NEXT BEST THING
THIS WAY,
in the WORLD OF OUR OWN

Whistling Bird

Watching the flocks go by

One bird just left out in a branch of a tree

in front of my house

Careless people just walk on by

Without even take a li’l glimpse to what’s around

So that li’l bird just stands alone

Singing to a song that’s never been heard before

Fearless, confidence
are the things it’s and the song’s all about

Gone To Waste

The sun sets amazingly

The sea birds fly gracefully

If both pick up the pace

they’re forming outline of your face

The sounds of rolling wave

keeps spelling your name I saved

And the breeze fondly blow my face

aware that a moment’s gone to waste

There’s a shadow moving steadily towards me

A silhouette’s flying low like an origami

Wishing it’s you I see

For now the twilight descends

Here in your arms, the heaven sent

it’s something captured in the sweetest scent

Mask of Clay

I wanna take off this mask of clay

that I use all along the way

Don’t want to bother about it no more

cuz I’m getting tired to clean it

It’s causing me a lot of sore

But it’s really hard to take off all of it

This beautiful mask is getting hard to carry

Loaded me with stuff and sweet memories

Though I know I cannot go on hiding

cuz there’s something even more beautiful in me

Journey of Life

As I sit here...

Waiting for my journey of life

I kinda think of what it would be like

if I had you by my side

Would it be niceto feel your warming hugs

every time I need one, not as cold as ice

Would it be soft

to feel the palm of your hands

when you guide me as I lost

Would it be sweet

to feel your lips pouting mine

and to feel your heartbeat

I kinda have this never ending thought

Is it just a summer feeling of begging you?
Or is it something surreal that I can lost into…

Blindly Blindfolded

It’s cloudy out there

And the sun hides

behind the skies

Can’t look nowhere

The sound of the crows

get in the crowd

Crows in doves-clothes

Beauty that is skin deep ‘bout

Singing,but cannot hear the tune

Flying,but cannot see the wings

Blindly blindfolded

Our Pure White Hearts

I want to show a piece of my heart

where every dream of mine is yours delight

And with the companion from the sun that shines so high

I want to take you to the light
To the light

where darkness will run and hide

To the light

where we are nowhere to be found

So we can make love throughout the night

and burn our eternal love forever

in our pure white hearts...

Unconfy!!!

What would you do if you don't feel confy being around someone but you must interact with that someone for some reason such as work? Plus, that someone is actually a friend of yours. Gosh!!! I don't wanna be called a rude girl who hate her friends and be rude to them. But, I really don't feel confy being around a friend of mine. He keeps doing something 'weird' to get our attention and it definitely bothering us. And there is another thing that bothers me even more, he keeps 'throwing' himself at me. I can't stand it now! I've had enough. Why didn't I tell him??? Because I don't want to have anything to do with him. I wanna keep my distance. At least, for now... until... i don't know... It's mean, I know, but... I need time... :(

Hard To Be A Mediator

Being a mediator is definitely not an easy thing to do. you cannot take side and for me, it's a pretty hard thing to do. Cuz sometimes, being fair is being mean to the other one, and I don't want that to happen, although it has to. You can always give em explanation why do you have to do it, but it is often not working since emotional people won't think clearly, at least they hard to think clearly and they tend to not thinking clearly if you take them to that certain topic.
Ay... Well, at the end of the point, I'm proud being a mediator. It means they trust me to solve their problem and they'll pretty much listen to me... So, I ca ndoctrinize them... HAHA... JOKING!!!

Work, work, work...

Entering the working world is not as hard as I thought it would be. Well, at least until now. haven't doing anything much, though. But, I think it's gonna be just fine time and time ahead... hope it will.
Everybody in High/Scope bandung seems to be nice. Start from the owners and my future co-workers, if I got through the 3 months probation. I really want to get into the high/Scope community a lot. It's really a great opportunity for me to grow, to work and just to everything.
Just wish me luck, will ya?
The pre-training day...

I didn't do much but to observe and help a little. Well, they didn't ask me much too. But, they'll evaluate that day. But I have mu defense that I prepare if they questioning my action. I'm just so ready... Because I knew I did my best :D
can't wait for the trainning day. But I don't know what will happen on those days to come.

What A Feeling...

I always tell myself not to involve my feeling too deep to someone else before you really know them. But it's kinda hard. I always know myself as the one who easily fall in love with anything, not just anyone. Gosh... I'm just making myself too emotional at times... I mean, most of time. Is that a crime? Because sometimes I consider it a crime. Since it wearies my soul a lot. Just keep thinking and denying that I don't actually love em. Just lonely sometimes...
But there are times when I just keep on realize that I love him... Keep denying it, but the truth just come back over and over again... I love him. He doesn't know it. I believe. I don't even think that he would care at all. Nad I don't even know if I care at all about he's loving me in return. Gosh... Am I a genuine idealist who always say that I don't want to have another relationship with my friends sice I don't want to ruin the realtionship that is there and good enough to go... or "If you love someone with all your heart, you won't need that someone to love you in return since you love them unconditionally with all your heart..."
I thought I won't ever fall in love with my best f riend. I won't fall in love with someone who knows me inside out. I don't want to fall in love with him, I don't wanna ruin our great friendship. I don't wanna lose him. We both agree that we won't let this kinda love to stand in our way. But I can't... I surely can't... And I can't say how I really feel. Afraid that he will push me away... I can't even say I miss him too much too tell...
Everytime he shares his pain, everytime he's hurt by his friends, I just wanna hold him tight and say that he don't need to worry cuz he got me ahere and love him for the way he is... :(

I really hope that he could just read my mind all along... And come here tell me what i really need to hear...

Hand in Hand

Love has always walk hand in hand with my loneliness
In a good way and bad
Sometimes I just don't know what it does and did to my life
But often I say I'm open wide to cherish with all my heart
At times I found out that my loneliness has blindfolded my love
But love has always win and take the loneliness to walk hand in hand again...
When will my love just walk hand in hand with me?

Until The End Of Time

Cloudy sky just stay here

Above my held-up high head

I now realize that you're no longer near

I now realize my faith has now nowhere to lay
The breeze no longer breathe on my face

Nor the wind to sing and pick up the pace

The stormy seas now satisfied

That I have you no longer inside
I wanna touch you one more time

I wanna bet this last dime of mine

I want a chance to say I miss you kind

I want a chance to say...

I will love you until the end of time...

The Love That Sounds Singing

I’m happy now

I see you somehow

Dressed up in line

and sipping the wine

You smile

and the whole world fly

Fly to the sky

and not walk on by

You’re so fine, darling

You make me falling

Can’t get enough

for what are you giving

The love that sounds singing

Stay True

I cried myself to sleep last night

cuz something really doesn’t feel right

You might not care if want to hold you tight

You might want me to get out of your sight

I just want the best for you

If it’s gonna be the way, then I will walk through

Cast away the feeling for you

Cast away the feelings so true

I won’t beg you to stay

Though I’m dying on my knees to have you here

I won’t beg you stay

Though I’m dying on my knees to have you here

I won’t stand in your way

I’ll let you free to cast away all of your fear

But I’ll be here anytime, anyway

Maybe it’s my fault

If I’m easily fallen in love with you

Maybe it’s my fault

Why I let myself drown into the warmth of your angelic touch?

My feelings for you are so true

I won’t lie to myself

I will stay true

My Piano Man

When you hear the music’s playing

and you can really feel the love

I’m sure it’s my piano man
When you hear the music’s playing

and you can really put your spirit in

I’m sure it’s my piano man
My piano man

who loves to play the piano
When he plays

you can feel the spirit

When he plays

you can feel the love
Dear my piano man

I really love to see you play

I really love to hear you play
When you put your beautiful fingers

on the old piano

you start to play the song…
No matter how bad it is

the song will always be beautiful in my ear
Because it’s my piano man’s playing it

Gracefully you play the tunes

of the song on a summer in June
Feels like it slips through my wound

and heals with your lovely tunes
O, my piano man
My piano man…

I love the way you play the piano

I love the way you look at me as well
When you look at me,

I can feel that I can feel you

Just like music entering

the innocent heart of mine
What am I got to do

to show that I love youI need to find a way

so my love won’t be fly away…
Or should I just keep it to myself

So the love won’t ever whiter fade…

Roses of Love

See the roses just shattered on the floor

and the leaves are whiter

Shall there be my love tall

to full and to rise falter?

Stepping in the roses of love

It’s broken but yet beautiful

And you as the shadow of dove

Fly over in a perfect soul

Fall just like the broken leaves in winter

For everything shall come sweeter

But yet come bitter in the life of you

My love in life…

An Angel's Wing

A Wing of an angel
Falls over me
and crying for me to catch it
to make a wish on it
and throw it back to the air
hope that it will reach the angel's own
just right on time...
Make my wish come true,
dear angel
So, that your wing's fall
means something more
that is beautiful...

Anything About You

If there's something I really want to do
It'll be anything about you
To think of you each and every second of my life
To breathe you in every inhale of my lung
But, for all of the most
is to love you in each and every beat of my heart
I really want to love you
Care for my feeling that haven't sure
If I really do love you...

Lay On My Bed

Lay on my bed
thinking exactly nothing
not even you, though I want to
Lay here on my bed
thinking exactly nothing
not even you, the one that sees me through
Lay here on my bedthinking exactly nothing
not even you, the place that I want to pull through
Lay here on my bedthinking exactly nothing
not even you
though it's you
I want to give my heart to

I Am Afraid

I am afraid to
think about us
ended up together at last
Sharing lives
Sharing dreams to come alive
Sharing dreams
Sharing lives that live in dreams
Sharing our love
I am afraid
to think about us
Afraid to open my heart
and shout
that I love you very much

Eyes of My Heart

Open the eyes of my heart
so I can szee your love coming down the line
For my life and yours have just begun
and stay forever this even sweeter in the mindOpen the eyes of my heart
so I can see that sun that's shinning bright
for my life and yours can running wild
and stay forever keep them in our mindOpen the eyes of my heart
so I can see you with the spot of light
For my life and yours join to one
and stay forever in the beauty that we find

What I Want

In a blink of an eye
I want something that is not there to grasp
Something that is not even exist in a glance
Something that is unknown for everybody else
Including me

And in a blink of an eye

I want something that I've never imagine before
Something absurd and never been told
By me or even by my whole lots of thoughtsI want to be loved...
not by whomever, but only by love
Love who seems to be distant from m life
Love who doesn't know me, not even try
Love who's diguising into something
Something that is not even exist in a glance
Something unknown, absurd, and never been told

Remedy of Love

Can you stop the world from turning?
make time stands still
So sweet things will last from its happeningCan you rewind all the sweet memories
and erase all the bad ones?So you can live your life with no tragediesI just want to move on
from this thing that becomes my sweet remedy
Remedy that cures all of my bad memories
Remedy of loveI just want this moment to last

Love is...

Walking in this crazy walk of life
When all the ups and downs are taking side
There's a lot of love that is hype
Just like all the fresh fruits that ripe

Nothing feels so right, it flies
Nothing feels so deep, it lies
Nothing feels so sweet, it bleeds
Nothing feels so tender, it livesLove is...
Love is there all the time
Among the bittersweet of mine

Love is...Love is...

What Would You Do?

You know that someone that you care about the most are doing something bad, something really bad that hurt another person that you love the most too. What would you do? Who will you defend, when you cannot defend anyone since each and everyone of them won't listen to you and will consider that you are in a certain side. You cannot take side, right? And... I don't know. I know what she did is wrong, but I won't tell the truth to the other, since I know that there's going to be a real big fight that will ruin our realtionship together. And I don't want that to happen. Am I wrong of doing that?
She was sending an inappropriate text to the other through her relatives number that know nothing about the other. I know her relative, that's why I know she did it. There's no coincident like that, right???
She'll meet her tomorrow... I don't know what will happen. Hopefully nothing bad. I don't know... I really don't know but I erally don't want anything bad to happen that will ruin our realtionship together. It's ruin already, and I don't want to make it worse... :(
Why did she do this??? I know, because she's been hurt sooo deeply that she cannot stand it anymore. But, why can't she just say it straight to her face when she's hurt? Well, she's the type of keeping it to her alone, and just gooooooooooooooooooooo nuts. Is that good?
Well, if nobody wants to understand eachother... How can the problem will be solved? Gosh... they're all adults, why can't they just sit face to face and talk it through???

Bed, sweet bed...

Gosh... I'm just too sleepy to be true. All I want is just to put myself to sleep... Hahahahaha... But I have sooooo much to do... :(

My Graduation

Okay... What is good about it? I thought I won't feel one, since I have always been in the graduation ceremony since I enter the university. It becomes routinity for me since then. But no... Hell, I felt a little more sensation than I thought I would. I felt nervous when it was my facutly's turn to take the lead... I was nervous about whether my friends are gonna applaus for me and scream for me like they always did to my other friends that were graduated befor, cuz it shows how important I am to them... And I got it. I felt like crying but I couldn't, cuz I felt sooooooooo excited I couldn't cry. Hah... And not just the screaming at the end, I got presents, not just one, but more, and flowers, even from the one that I never thought will give me any present. Gosh... soooooooooooooooooooooo sweet. I love em all... My friends, my buddies, best friends, sisters, brothers... just all... I am blessed...

All the people that I care about are here. almost... But, mostly yes. My Dad, Mom, Sister, fave aunts, cousins, nephews... all lovely. Even my closest friend and so called sister was here... still here actually, she spends time in my place now... Just lovely.

Oh, But I kinda hate my make-up... it made me look older...:( But it didn't matter... I HAD FUN. That's the main point, right??? hahahahaha.

There's a new thing to start... FIND A JOB... Tomorrow is a big day for me. It's either I'm in, or out... Hope I'm in, cuz I really want it... Gosh.. But whatever it is... I'm sure it's the best...

Well, till then...

I'm off...