What A Feeling...

I always tell myself not to involve my feeling too deep to someone else before you really know them. But it's kinda hard. I always know myself as the one who easily fall in love with anything, not just anyone. Gosh... I'm just making myself too emotional at times... I mean, most of time. Is that a crime? Because sometimes I consider it a crime. Since it wearies my soul a lot. Just keep thinking and denying that I don't actually love em. Just lonely sometimes...
But there are times when I just keep on realize that I love him... Keep denying it, but the truth just come back over and over again... I love him. He doesn't know it. I believe. I don't even think that he would care at all. Nad I don't even know if I care at all about he's loving me in return. Gosh... Am I a genuine idealist who always say that I don't want to have another relationship with my friends sice I don't want to ruin the realtionship that is there and good enough to go... or "If you love someone with all your heart, you won't need that someone to love you in return since you love them unconditionally with all your heart..."
I thought I won't ever fall in love with my best f riend. I won't fall in love with someone who knows me inside out. I don't want to fall in love with him, I don't wanna ruin our great friendship. I don't wanna lose him. We both agree that we won't let this kinda love to stand in our way. But I can't... I surely can't... And I can't say how I really feel. Afraid that he will push me away... I can't even say I miss him too much too tell...
Everytime he shares his pain, everytime he's hurt by his friends, I just wanna hold him tight and say that he don't need to worry cuz he got me ahere and love him for the way he is... :(

I really hope that he could just read my mind all along... And come here tell me what i really need to hear...