Don't actually know where to start writing this stuff that's been going on in my head. It all started when everything suddenly goes wrong with no obvious reason and left me wonder about what the hell is going on. No clear answers have been creating various negative assumption and judgment.
Frightened and confused of what is going on led to an ultimate silence. It's hard to deal when you found out one has labeled oneself as the victim when it's supposed to be you who feel victimized and you are.
Curse and anger gladly dance throughout the flame of a burning emotion. Uncertain when it will end, or maybe never. Leaving should be the easiest way to escape but it certainly isn't the easiest way to do. So many things get in the way, whether to escape or even to stay. Clueless and stuck between invisible non-removable things.
I've been trying to reach the way out but all the effort seemed to be no use and no good. All bounced me back to the point where I started to crumble. That fortress of yours is too thick to break through and too high to climb. There's no way to come in and obviously no way out once you're in there. Not even a window to peep.
You and your selfish way, so unpredictable and destroying at most times.
I want to just run and escape from all these negativity you've been creating. I need to find my sanctuary that I thought I'd find it in you. All those positive effect that you've building were fallen to pieces. Leaving nothing but grieve and it's nightmare you've become.
I really wonder if you still remember all the words and promises you said to me and if you realized that everything you do has done nothing but hurt to people around you and even yourself. I also wonder what have I done that cause me thrown into this position. No answer and left being clueless are all that I got. The worst is knowing you that well that scares me. You and your ability to do what you're capable of doing.
But, here I am standing. Staying in my point of crumbling. Trying to hold on of maybe what's been missing all along. I'm bounded to promises I've made because I believe that promises need to be kept...
And I do still have my faith in you.
