Seek for the Truth?

Most people seek for the truth, although it will come out as something hurtful. But me, unlike most people, I prefer not knowing the truth when I believe that I will get hurt. Is that a stupid thing to do? Well, it might. Sometimes, I think that I should know the truth, whatever it is, in order to move on. But, let’s say that I’m not that strong and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Most of time, I’m scared to know the truth. Afraid that it will hurt me at some point and I’d be unable to heal myself. So… At times I prefer not to know the truth, although it’s surely killing to simply know the truth…

Anyway… One way or another, ready or not, I will eventually find the truth… and all the consequences. Just be brave and believe that it will pass… as something good, bad or whatever in between… :)

Playing With Fire

I can’t deny it feels good and I hope it’s for real. If it doesn’t, it might do more damage than it should and longer time to heal. Make my day, make me smile, there’s no way that it’s not worthwhile.

How many people enjoy playing with ‘fire’? Well, whatever the number is, add me up! I’m playing with ‘fire’, I’m getting burned and I’m enjoying it right now.

So what if it hurts me? So what if I break down?

I realize what damage I will have, how long I will heal and every loss that I might get. But, guess what? I’m playing on. I don’t even try to stop myself to fall again, because it surely feels good for some reasons.

I’ve been burned so many times, I’ve been broken and there’s no way anyone could make it any worse. You can’t break a heart that’s already broken. You can’t knock me on my feet when I’m already on my knees!

I don’t say that I won’t feel hurt anymore, it’s just that, I’m getting used to the feeling although I’m tired of it. I’m tired of getting through this winding rocky path of roads…

But now, I’m ready… Come and get me!

Year End Notes

Here we go again at the last day of 2009. As I sit here, by the window, accompanied by the sound of the rain outside, I would like to take time to look back. What have I done this year and who stood by my side along the way. I will take this moment, to thank all of them.

Let’s start by, none other than God, who surely there, through my ups and downs, without I have to tell them Him what’s going on. I’ve been very blessed this year. I know thank you is never enough. I give all my life to You and believe that you will always there giving me nothing but the best :)

To me Papito, Mamita, y hermanita, you are the only place I can turn to whenever I need to. Thank you for being there and for your continuous support in all those weird ways possible. Dede, skripsi harus selesai taun ini!!! Oke???

Vina, Iis, Dede Krisna, Wisnu, Neng Andien, Tante Emma, Om Ton thanks for the lovely week at the end of year 2009. ‘Twas a great year end so-called celebration.

Budhe, Mas Sony, Mba Lina, and the rest of my relatives… thank you for those blessed days of ours :)

De Icha… Awas kalo ngacak2 kamar lagi… ta’ bilangin!!!

De Diva… Tukang ojeknya tahan di rumah aja… Semoga di taun baru ini bias lebih tenang sedikit… mungkin bias diam barang satu menit, selain diwaktu tidur… :p

Merrie… miss you sooo much… xoxo

To all my little angels in High/Scope, thank you for sparking your wonderful smiles that always enlighten my days. Your pure kind-hearted ways to love is surely missed when you’re not around.

To all the parents, thank you for letting your children spreading their love around us :) All the best for the upcoming year.

To all the other parents (you know what I’m talking about)… another fun time won’t hurt… Miss the kids as well… :)

BANDIDAS!!! Gebai, Ule, Depi, Tissa, Rini, Sendai, thanks for standing by me through ups and lots of downs. Can’t wait for another performance of paradise… Indonesian Idol… here we come… :)

Monica’s Club!!! Eva, Dince, Reni… Ga mo komen aaah… Love you dearly, still :)

Jeny, Winny, Hasti, Moniq, Tri, Teh Ria, thank you for being there when I need to lend an ear, or many. Keep on going and fighting, for the kids’ sake. We rock!

Meiko… thank you for the wedding ceremony that brought along ex High/Scopers…

Dita, Kirana gue tetep kangen ma lu!!! Hahaha… Wish me luck!

Nuri, thank you for still being there although we’re not around each other anymore. Bilang Eyaz, bakso kudu tetep jalan!!! :p

Nancy, Dionne, Debora, Dewi, dll… Miss you gals!

Ci Ida, Hermana Tias… You’ve been the best poison I’ve ever had… Thanks for the continuous learning and support ya… xoxo PS. Cepat ato lambat gue bener2 harus liburan ke Bali, secara udah kebawa mimpi..!!!

Ms. Jossy… you’ve been an inspiration throughout the year… SEMANGAT!!! :)

Mas Adi… thank you for the positive energy by making me smile most of the time… yang artinya… silahkan diterjemahkan sendiri. Hehehe… :)

Mas Anang… Jangan lupa traktirannya, mas… Cepat ato lambat, akan aku tagih!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!! Tunduh, ah! :p

Ikooo… Hayo… kebanyakan rahasia yaaa… Tunggu gue ya!!!

For the rest of you in High/Scope – Bandung, thank you for another rollercoaster year.

For the rest of High/Scopers, thank you for the applause that you’ve given throughout the Bandidas’ performance at the Anniversary. No more “more practice!” :p

Aliiiiiiiii… This year, we shall fight harder!!! :)

Mas Tejo… di mana, seh??? Wish you well :)

Mas Icus… All the best for your comics. Can’t really wait to see it posted.

Andi… Thank you for everything. Sure I regret things, but you gave me one of the greatest lessons in life :)

Brian ‘Lutfi’ Quagmire… Like I said before, miss you ‘hm’!!! I refuse to call you by your name now, Brian Quagmire sounds better.

Sarah, thanks for the presents you’ve been sending me…!!! Shout out to Robin and Jeff!!!

To, my beloved, Yocie, Ndha, n Bino… You guys really my bestest ladies. You make me smile now and again. You’re my rocks!!!

Ono, Asti Pade, Prita, Dora (tuh kan gue ga tulis Qebo), Onggeng, Wanda, and Milke, thank you for being constantly there for me, for each other. Can’t believe that our friendship has last this long. From one year to another.

To the rest of my High School and Junior High School friends, nice meeting you and hopefully FACEBOOK will keep us in contact one to another :) FACEBOOK ROCKS!!! *loh???*

To all the UCVers, mention you one by one will be a hard thing to do since the reunion!!! Thank you so much… More than words can say, more than words to sing. You’ve been a fantastic melody not just this year, but throughout my life.

Flo… Still cherish each meeting we had and all those jokes only you understand.

Aris, you’ve been my best friend since I don’t know when. Thank you for being there for American Idol *Loh???* and a whole lot more :)

Paul, listening to ‘Where The Dream Takes You’ always give me a boost up when I’m down. I always reckon you as my primary supporter. Thanks to you for everything. I might have different direction of what I want before, but I believe in it and I’m going there. I’m going to give it back, when I know I had all my goals in life :)

Inneke, Monyet (whoops!), Yuan, David… Love you, babes :) Miss you sooo much whenever you’re not around. Wait for me there!!! :p I’ll be there SOON!!!

Cisco, Satriya, Nia… Hugs and kisses and lots of love and miss-yous!!!

Ega, Anggie, Harry, Donny, Yuli and the rest of PSM-ers… Keep on singing!!! Thank you for all the melodic laughter of yours :)

Henny, Yuli, Nancy, and Linda, thank you and sorry for everything. The place will be so empty without you, walopun ga gitu ngefek juga, secara yang rebut gue… Hehehe.. :p

Sisca, Helen, Tiya, Heidi and the rest of my college friends… Miss you and hope FACEBOOK keep us together… FACEBOOK ROCKS!!! :p

Ekky… still can’t believe that I will not see you again someday, somewhere in this world. You’re in the better place now. Enjoy! :)

To all the rest, you’re definitely not least… Thank you for everything you’ve been given me throughout the year… God bless us all :)