To Papa, with Love...

I will never forget his determination to make us all happy, his willingness to try his best until the end of his time. All for the family he loves and love him back unconditionally.

How can I forget how he broke down and cried, regretting every limitation to give us more.

I will always remember how I hug him tightly just to show how much love I have and feel for him. How I was gently holding his hand and fell asleep peacefully.

I remember watching him sleeping next to me. Watching if he was still breathing. I remember just how glad I was knowing that he was.

No matter what people might say or think, he might not be one perfect gentleman, but he was willing to give more than any other gentleman ever was. He gave his life, just like Our Lord, for his loved ones, his family and other people that surrounded him with love.

We love you, Pa. Thank you has never been properly said and will never be enough.

You are an angel now in His heavenly home, peacefully laid to rest and forever be missed by all of us.

Happy birthday, Pa :)

No More What Ifs

What ifs are no longer necessary

since it will never change a single thing that already happened in the past.

Waste no time for what ifs

since it will only strangle you for moving forward and drown in an endless regret.

What ifs shall never exist

if what it does is only to create a devastation and hopeless individuals.

Look up and look forward,

for there will be a light, His light, that will lead you

and a hand, His hand that will hold you through every darkest hour in your life.

To Mom, With Love...

Dear Mom,

You might not be a superhero whom appear saving lives on every daily news cover that ever exist. You're also never a beauty queen whom appear on stage showing off every little thing you have.

You are way more than that. You are far beyond all those things.

Looking back, there were few great things you did but too many small things you've done for all us. All those tiny things that became a crucial point of where we are standing right now. Things that made us so much more than a strong person.

You've been beaten down by all that fame and glory, over and over again, but you've never been down too long. You've done nothing but rise up stronger. That's a point where there's no reason for us to not look up to you.

You might be invisible and never give up doing what's best for us, without asking nothing in return but that's exactly what makes you grand, that's what makes you unbeatable, what makes you invincible.

Imperfections made you perfect and they've made you incomparable.

You are our greatest role-model, our own hero.

Have a blessed birthday, Mom. Love always, from all of us.

Keep Believing That He'll Do The Work

Just when I thought that I'm done

I always find myself in a better place

A place that I never thought was exist

Somehow, I landed there

Anytime I feel desperately in need of a way out,

There I was

In an exit door full of solution

That I never thought could work

So, why should I be worry now?

When this problem arise,

I shall find my way in the end

When this complicated things merged into one hell of a problem

That push me to every corner of the room,

Rushing me to conclude a solution that only suit their ways

I'll pass it anyway

All I have to do is pray :)

Might not work exactly the way I want sometimes

But I always mend my ways to "I'm alright" pedestal

He's there, helping me all the way

I just surrender and keep believing that He'll do the work

Minding Our Words

Don't people in this world have at least one secret that they won't share to anyone? Doesn't matter if it was a simple secret or dark ones. But I believe, even the most 'open to the world' person has at least one tiny little secret. Yup, that says it.

Some people probably think that I'm one of those kinds, the one that 'open to the world' kinda type because I could grumble about anything and come up as a very loud and spicy person at times (or most of time.) I just could not be a quiet person, although I've tried my hardest to be claimed one, but it never worked, ever. But I am not.

I don't keep that one tiny little secret. I keep tons of 'em. Not just mine, but others as well. I keep some things to myself and do not expose it to anyone. Including my feelings.

Yeah, I know, people keep saying that you have to let it all out to make yourself feel better. I do let out some of the emotions and feelings, but I choose which one and to whom I shall express them all. So, sorry if I don't directly barely express any bit of it to anyone out there.

Oh, wait... I don't think I should feel sorry about it. That's my choice and I have reasons for it. I hope people can respect that. Sometimes I wonder why do some people having problems respecting that when I believe that they are doing the exact same thing. Even long-time married couple or forever couple or best friends or even family. That small little tiny simple secret will exist. If you think I was wrong, well then, think again, fellas, dig deep!!!

I did not say that let-it-all-out way is bad, or telling everything they way it is will be good for any kind of relationships, but, don't you think choose wisely is needed? I mean, you don't go sharing WTF to children or giving bad comments to an easily-destructive person, aren't you? You don't go share your bestfriend's hatred towards your other bestfriends, right? Or do you? Don't you think about their feelings at all? Or have you chose to take risks? Don't you realize that even more people might be damaged by how you truly feel? Don't you ever think about what if it was concerning your loved ones that might get hurt to? Have you considered if they deserve it or not? You do, right?

Well, all I'm saying is don't you think it's better to keep some things to ourselves (even candy or gadget, you don't just go around and share them to anyone, especially kids or strangers, even closed ones, you know why.) And when it comes down to feelings, it'd be better for us to think twice or even more, to make sure that we hit the right target and with the right reasons so we can give them a fair consequences of what they did. We don't want to quick-judge people with our bare thoughts as we don't want to be quick-judged by others. Because this quick-judging thing comes from nothing but a blind-assumption that leads to a worse/worst-conclusion.

We have every tool to do better about these things. We have our ears to listen. Take time to listen so we know every reason behind every action (although some stupid things done without any reason). We have our eyes to see what actually happened. We have our hearts to feel what's right to be done. We have our brains to decide how it could wisely be done. We have our hands, feet and the rest of our bodies to act. Unless you don't have those or even worse, have it all full-functioned but refuse to use any of 'em.

So yeah, I think I made my point here. I'd rather keep some things to myself, including feelings and secrets, especially things about people I love the most. I definitely tried my best (since I haven't actually done these things perfectly, but I know I've done my best,) to not hurt anyone, especially my loved ones since I care about their feelings a lot.

PS. Plus, I kinda think that those people consider me as a celebrity since they wish to know every little thing I've done and how am I feeling toward others, especially my loved ones. I don't publish my charity or good things I've done to anyone. It is even written on the bible, Matthew 6:2 and Matthew 6:3, the book that you claim love to read. Or have you missed those parts? #justsayin D'oh!!!

For Good

I'm limited
Just look at me - I'm limited
And just look at you
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
For both of us
Now it's up to you

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led to those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you.

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a hand print on my heart

And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend.

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird
In a distant wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know there's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore

Like a comet pulled from orbit (Like a ship blown from its mooring)
As it passes a sun (By a wind off the sea)
Like a stream that meets a boulder (Like a seed dropped)
Halfway through the wood (By a bird in the wood)

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better
And because I knew you

Because I knew you
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good

This Has Been

I really thought that I gave my all in this so-called friendship. But, I guess what I've done was never really enough. I constantly feel left out and disappointed, knowing not what I've done wrong.It seems like I've done nothing right. Yes, not a single thing seems to be right since everytime I say my opinion, they will slash me off, chop me into small pieces and just step on all over me. One or twice might be funny, but constantly...? Underappreciated...

How come you don't feel left out when you used to be a harbor for everything and all of the sudden you are not anymore with no reasons explanation at all?I feel like I've tried to understand every being and forgot about me being hurt many times. But what I've got? A walk out. Disappointment.

Hardly anyone to hold on to when I thought I can count on them.I've tried to be the adult and maybe I've failed because I was not that strong enough to handle all of those emotional outburst and childishness that has been going on all the way.

They will never believe how I cried over this because, yes, it hurt that much since I put a real value in this whole thing. I've been betrayed, stabbed in the back. They might not really see it because I've tried to hard to hide it in order to have more understanding in every situation and personality given. I've tried to respect each and everyone. But, hey, if the outcome yield the same situation, why bother being what I've become?

I guess it's time to say goodbye...This whole thing is shizzling.

It's still a pleasure meeting them all and I appreciate every moment we used to have.A lesson well learned... :)