This One's For You

I LOVE YOU GOODBYE

Wish I could be the one, the one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish I could say to you that I'll always stay with you
But baby that's not me
You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever, baby that's something I can't do
I could say that I'll be all you need but that would be a lie
I know I'd only hurt you, I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye
I hope someday you can find some way to understandI'm only doing this for you
I don't really wanna go but deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do
You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be
Who'll give you something better than the love you'll find with me
I could say that I'll be all you need but that would be a crime
I know I'd only hurt you, I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye
Leaving someone when you love someone is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you
Oh I don't wanna leave you, baby it tears me up inside
But I'll never be the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye
Baby, its never gonna work out
I love you, goodbye

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This is definitely for you. This song speaks my heart. Well, at least I guess so. One of my friends said that I’m closing my heart for this one person to come in the future. I close my heart, including from you.But do I really close my heart for everyone to come in??? The answer will be NO!!! I’m willing to open my heart just for anyone. But, please don’t hope too much from me, because I don’t wanna hurt you or anyone at all. Not this way. I was not intending to do it by any chance.
I just can’t be with you for some reasons that I don’t even know why I have those reasons, I don’t even know what. It’s just me. Not you… you definitely deserve someone better and that’s not me.
I’ll be here… getting ready to love and to be loved… anyone and by anyone… at all…

I Just Love...

Yeah… I just love. All I want to do now is just love someone who can love me back in return of course. Who would that be??? I still don’t know... Some people come and some people go. It seems I never ready for all those people to come and go. But they did. Seems like I never ready to love or to be loved. One of the reasons is that I’m still saving one special spot in my heart for that someone that I don’t even know if he loves me or not… part of my heart say that he is the one for me. But, who knows what tomorrow bring… I just hope that someone can really see that I love him, and willing to love me back in return… I just hope he knows…

Evil Me

First, I felt excited, then surprised and happy, and last, I felt like a true evil.
Why??? Well, just today at church, I saw him again. My first crush, ever. I even fell in love with him once or twice, although he wasn’t as good looking as he was when he was a lot younger back then. So, can you really call it love? Well, I’m a call it, unreachable love. Why??? Well, I never know him, up til now. I mean, seriously, I know him and I know he knows me. But, we never spoke to each other like two people who knew each other. Get my point??? We just know one and another without any further connection.
But, looked at him today or any other day after awhile, always bring that sort of feeling I cannot even explain, since I don’t know what it is myself. But, I kinda like it. Make me imagining something beautiful that he and I would have if we were together.
Back about why I felt like a true evil…
Well, what I remember was he with my elementary school’s friend, but she looked like ignoring him all along. Well, not along, or I don’t know, but that was what I saw two years ago at New Year’s party. I didn’t think that he deserved it. He deserved better, that is with me. And now, I saw him not with her anymore, but then I realised that they were sitting only two people away at the same row, and guess what? I was glad that they didn’t look like they were together again.
But, what is so good when I can’t have him anyway??? Well, by knowing that he will find someone better… Hope it could be me… =)

Panty Malfunction

Yess, that’s exactly what I’m going to write here… My panty was falling down. Apparently, I took the wrong panty. Just without looking I took the loose ones, since it was on the top of my panties drawer. Apparently… I think I ran out of panties. How come you ran out of panties??? Well, maybe it’s just me… Silly me. Lazy me to wash em or just dirrrty me??? I leave em all to you… =P
Now here’s the story… After I took that wrong panty, as usual I put on my jeans… and changed it afterwards with just a skirt. While I was walking to my friend’s place, I felt so unconfy down there and realized that it was my panty which was falling down. Unfortunately, there was no place for me to fix it, so… I walked awkwardly to my friend’s place. I tried to hold the panty with just my thighs. Lord have mercy on me.. I was about just took it off on the street full of people. I wonder what would it be if it really fell down… I’d be damned embarrassed!!! The good news was… I made it to my friend’s place without my loose panty hanging out raced the skirt bottom… =P No more using that one, Val!

The Child in Me

I’m not as grown up as you think I am. I still got the childish in me that often took me over. Wholly, solely.. and I just can’t get out.
Talk is easy. Talk is cheap. But the action to the words is definitely the hardest part of all. To be done, to be tried, even to begin. I wish I could apply the words I said to people, to my younger, even to my older friends… I don’t want to be a cheap talker… although I could get an award for my words of wisdom to people…

Where???

I caught myself so often in the question that no one could ever answer since the answer to my question is in me… and it feels like it’s nowhere to be found…

Forbidden Love

Something forbidden that you cannot touch at all. But can you feel it?
His smile is so beautiful that sometimes I just want to go and hug him just like that. His arms seem so strong that sometimes you can just feel them wrap you around and warm yourself all day.
But for some strong reasons, you just cannot be with him at all. The gap between you two are too damn wide. Even wider than you think it is…
What would you do then? When you know something isn’t meant for you, but you still want to have it?
Well, just say that he’s too damn perfect and nothing is so good that last eternally. Well again, nothing is eternal. It’s like… nothing. Perfect or not, sooner or later, it’ll be gone.. what to do then?

Commitment VS Priority

What is commitment?
What is priority?
For me, you have to put the commitment to your priority, a.k.a you have to commit to your priority. But, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have your commitment or something that isn’t your priority. In my opinion, that is only one thing that you can make as your priority, so you can erally focus on it. If you have more than one… how can you focus on it??? Think about it…
Although you don’t make something as your priority but it doesn’t mean that you don’t take it seriously as you commit to it too…
But what will you do if someone doubt your commitment?