Conversation Between My Conscience and Myself

Myself (M): Damn! I think this shiz has got the best of me.

Conscience(C): Well, why do you think so?

M: Maybe because it seems like I'm not myself these days.

C: Nope, I think you are yourself everyday.

M: No, I'm not.

C: Hey, I'm your conscience. I know you better than anyone else, even yourself.

M: How so? I know myself better than anyone else and God knows best.

C: Yes, but I am your conscience. I am yourself and your mind. I am you, inside out.

M: Really? So? You must be thinking I’m not myself lately as well, right? That shiz really got the ebst of me.

C: Actually, on the contrary. I don’t think that way at all.

M: What? How come?

C: Because, that one that you see, the person you feel, the one that you feel that you’re trapped into is none other than yourself. It’s you.

M: Oh, no no no no no no no! It’s not! No way in hell that this is myself.

C: It is you, dear. It’s the other side of you that you kept so well hidden until you forgot that it’s even exist. You deny that side of yours because you choose not to know it. It’s you. It’s part of you.

M: It can’t be.

C: The more you deny it, the harder it is for you to move on in your life. You will eventually find yourself drown in sadness, grieve, regret and other negative feelings that’s created by you!

M: Me? I never create negative feelings. Who wants to anyway?

C: You're right, no one wants to. But, like it or not, realize it or not, it's you who creates every feeling you are feeling throughout your life. So, your feeling is up to you. It's your choice.

M: Really? Are you sure?

C: Yes, for sure. Befriend with every little part and side of you and you shall be fine. Got to know them and easier you'll get by.

M: Will it be easy to do it?

C: Yes, but it takes a long time to make it perfect, but you need not to worry, you're on your way.

Promises

Promises that framed with fresh flowers from the garden,
Blossom in every step of your way
To the land of expectation lighten by that brightest ray

Promises that goes with a sweet-sounded melody
Sang by the bird in lined on the canopy
Sway you into an island of make believe

Promises that blinded you with its beauty
Chained you with the prettiest smile
Devilish hidden well that no one even care to find out
Until it arises as uncontrollable anguish in whereabouts

Promises that bound you as a hopeful person
Words that grant you a shoulder to lean on
Disappear in time just like smoke that washes away by every tear you cry.

Bailing Me Off

It's relieving having someone that you trust, someone that you can count, someone that you can rely on, someone that always be there in times of need. But, when that someone is bailing on you, it's going to be something that is really, really, really disappointing.
You just have no idea what to do. Should you be sad because of the disappointment or just simply mad out of it. It's even worse when they lie for not bailing on you, while everything is obvious and lead you that way.
You no longer have someone that you trust, someone that you can count, someone that you can rely on, someone that always be there in times of need. Disappointing, isn't it?
Neither sad or mad are useful no more when everything has been done. There's no other way but moving forward for the way to retreat and moving back has been damaged by the severe betrayal from an angel.

In Him I Surrender

As I'm here on my knees

Praying my hardest

Hope it will change a bit of a thing

I'm prepared of the falling tears

I'm ready for another disappointment

I'm just waiting for any answer

And when it all happen

All at the same time

Here on my knees I wish

For Lord to bring my finest defense

To finally move on

Although I'm bruised and battered

For in Him I believe

In Him I surrender

My life

My all

I Refuse

I walked down this winding and bumpy road thousand of times

Stumbled into the same stone

Tripped over the same rock

Slipped into the same puddle of mud

All over again and again and more

So many choices of roads I could pick

All laid down in front of my bare eyes

But then again, this road I chose

Knowing every little part of things from the consequences

I know them very well and they know me better

I know how they will treat me

Nice at times and mean as often

They know how to pick me up and throw me down hard when I reach the top

I'm aware of it

But I refuse to turn around and walk on another path of life

Because, I still believe that this road will eventually leads me

To that pot of gold that I spent my lifetime searching

Afraid I may not

Since the light still shine me down

Even through the darkest path that no one might pass

Vanish at Every Softer Touch

Keep thinking about what should be done upon us

When every little road leads to you

But the road seems to have no end at all

It winds and it bends all over

Keep thinking about what to do with no fuss

When all is said and done points the way to you

But the way seems to be blurry with invisible wall

It appears and gone not a healer

Decisions were thought every step of the way

Afraid of one thing goes wrong will ruin all the offer

Never been too careful to meet the end

Of reaching out an everlasting happy ending

Not a happily ever after moments

Never been this careful, it hurts

Too scared to lose what's already in the palm of this fragile hand

Something that's ready to grasp but might slip away even sooner

A precious pearl to be seen that's ready to vanish at every softer touch